Monday, October 16, 2017

I Live Among Hamburgers

Greetings homies,

Welcome back to another report of the 2 American guys trying to preach the word of God in a somewhat anti-God country. We’re still working closely with 2 of our friends who will be baptized, but unfortunately both of them need to wait a little longer to be ready to be baptized, but that’s okay. In fact, we had a small miracle at our lesson with Richmond, our friend from Ghana. We rang his apartment and he let us in. And as we were walking in he was about to walk out to leave, because his boss had called him to come do something. But he decided he’d have us teach him and he would just wait for his boss to call again. We taught for about 30 minutes and then his boss called and cancelled their appointment, so we got to finish our bomb lesson. Miracles haven’t ceased boys.

we representing Arizona here in Hamburg

We’ve been working with another investigator of ours, Jason, to find an answer for the big ole question whether or not the church is true. We spent a good hour or so with him discussing how he can find the answer and what he needs to do with the answer once he gets it, commonly known as real intent. He seemed to enjoy and learn a lot from it, and came to church. So we’re making some good progress here ladies and gentlemen.

Our ward has been focusing a lot on missionary work, which is sweet to see. They emphasize praying specifically for the missionaries of their ward by name, and since they’ve started doing that we have been reaping the benefits from it. We experienced another miracle on Sunday. A little late into the first hour of church, a lady walks in and sits down in the congregation. Throughout the meeting, she did a few things that you’d see normally in a Catholic Church or other religions which aren’t quite what we usually do during sacrament meeting. We went up afterwards and introduced ourselves and she had a cool story. She’s from Haiti and lives here in our little part of Hamburg. She wanted to visit a church because for some reason hers was closed, and after asking around on the street, someone pointed her in the direction of ours. She loved sacrament meeting, really enjoyed the English Sunday school class with our English speaking members, and said she’s going to try to come every week! We got to give her a Book of Mormon and explain a little bit about our church, but more importantly we exchanged phone numbers and we planned on meeting this week. How sick is that?

I tried to think of something funny that happened this week to write about, but all the miracles kind of drowned out the funny stories so sorry not sorry haha. I really enjoyed a quote we heard in church on Sunday from a speaker who said, „We need to first love ourselves before we can love our neighbor as we love ourselves.“ As commanded, we need to love our neighbor as ourselves—we can’t do that if we don’t love ourselves. I just figured that was a cool thought to share.

some monument of a dude with a gun, found it fitting

These r not the missionaries u are looking 4 
when there are no open seats ­čśź
anotha monument ne?

Enjoy your weeks, my sons

Elder Glenn Johnson
Kirche Jesu Christi
Heckengang 55
21079 Hamburg

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Monday, October 9, 2017

„Er duscht dich“


There’s been so much crap the past 5 days, I will now use the form of bullet points as an attempt to make it all known.

  • I said goodbye to some legendary families in Brandenburg
The Osbecks, my legends

  • I took a tea candle light bath, quite relaxing might I say

My lit bath--last night in Brandenburg

  • Traveling to Hamburg 
Goodbye, my legends

  • In Hamburg, we were hit by a huge storm, they called it „Xavier“ you can look it up. The storm killed 6 people in northern Germany and 1 lady in Hamburg

  • The storm basically stopped all movement of public transportation in and around Hamburg

Hamburg craziness--the main screen was totally blank 

  • We were almost hit by a falling branch going out to check out the big tree that fell down

  • We served with a very interesting man at the Tafel, who will only call us by our first names and loved controversial questions about the church

  • We saw 2 car crashes on the same corner on the same day

  • We saw 3 busses in an accident in which they all had destroyed fronts and lots of police

  • We put our friend Richmond on baptismal date, for the 28th of October, super sick lesson about Christ visiting the Americas and about the restoration

  • We met with another few African legends

  • We played soccer one morning and the people we played with kicked the ball so hard it broke a window of the stake center

  • After soccer we went home and showered and while I was showering the Hausmeister under us came up and asked if all is good, because we don’t usually shower during the day, and Elder Hillyard meant to say „er duscht sich“ which means he’s showering himself; but said rather „er duscht dich“ which means he’s showering you

  • Georg, another investigator of ours, is also being baptized on the 28th with our friend Richmond

  • We sat next to a guy on the S Bahn who had some Arabic letters on his phone, so I peeked over and read that it was Persian, so I used some of my amazing sign language to tell Elder Hillyard that, so we started speaking Persian to each other very not well. But then I made a mistake and the guy fixed my mistake and I got to „act all surprised” that he spoke Persian, and we introduced the church and the Book of Mormon and gave him a Persian one. We wrote down his number WRONG, sadly, but hopefully he’ll find the church somehow. He seemed quite interested

  • This city is dope and the mission work here is going suuuuper well--I’m loving it

View from my Apartment

Hamburg Rathaus is siiiiiick man

chill half sphere seats in wormland

Well then that’s how it’s going here. The Lord is working miracles left and right and we get to reap the rewards of hard work. Stay thirsty my friends…

Elder Glenn Johnson
Kirche Jesu Christi
Heckengang 55
21079 Hamburg

Monday, October 2, 2017

Tsch├╝├č, DDR

Well hello, glad to see you’re back.

I guess I will begin with some news about transfers. Well, my dudes, it looks like I’m going to Hamburg! My area is called Wilhelmsburg, it’s a ward, idk man this is gonna be super cool. I also am going to become a district leader, so that’s lit. My first district leader in the mission, Elder Pruett, will be in my district which means he was my first district leader, and I’ll be one of his last. Crazy stuff. I‘m super sad to be leaving this wonderful city and the amazing members here and I’m gonna miss them lots, but so is life my dudes.

Aside from that craziness, we received a wonderful text on Tuesday morning that read „Hallo ich bin Brandenburg“ (hello I am Brandenburg; he meant I am in Brandenburg) although we didn’t have this number saved in our phone, we were without doubt it was our legend, Hasan. We had a lesson and headed to the church where Hasan made us some delicious food, and we got to work on our Persian a lot with him. Wednesday, he was here as well and made food for our whole district after district meeting and that was cool. He’s a very pure soul.

Tsch├╝ss my legend ­čśş

Hasan came with us to Sister Musehold's, both legends
Elder Koerper and I went on Tausch this week. We were in the MTC together, but he is like 100 times more legendary out here. We got a call early in the morning on our Tausch from a member who needed some help moving things out of his apartment, so we did that and had a quick random lesson. How sick. Then I got to teach him the ways of serving at the Tafel, and then right as we met back up with our comps, he talked to a deaf person using his skills in German sign language.

our weird district

Well shoot guys that’s about it from our week. General conference was awesome as usual and very sad to hear of the passing of Elder Hales from the quorum of the 12 apostles. One of my favorite parts was from Sister Oscarson’s talk about instead of trying to change the world, we need to start close to us, aka our family and close friends. And how she talked about when we go to a church meeting or activity, instead of asking ourselves „what can I take out of this activity?“, we should ask the question „who needs me today?“ because there will always be someone who would benefit from us reaching out to them. Something to put you in deep thought for today.

alright see ya

Elder Glenn JohnsonKirche Jesu Christi
Plauer Stra├če 11d
Brandenburg an der Havel 14770

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Monday, September 25, 2017

Make Germany Great Again?


Enough of this greeting nonsense, let's dig right in. SO do you remember a few weeks ago when we ran over a person going to Berlin?? Guess who that happened to again?? Not us, I just thought it would be crazy if it did; not this week though. Deutsche Bahn was fairly normal this week.

my freaking favorite little girls, they are wonderful 

What wasn’t very normal this week, was yesterday we had elections here in Germany. I didn’t ever think I would give a heck about German politics, but it was actually pretty interesting. There are 2 quite interesting points of this election. 1: The Chancellor for like the past 12 years, who basically hand-writes invitations to every person in the Middle East to live in Germany, was reelected again. 2nd, there is a quite right sided party who ran this year called alternative f├╝r Deutschland. I assume no translation is needed for that one. But they are also known by many as „Nazis“  as a result of their views on immigration and lack of much love for the Muslim immigrants.

If any of you reading this were in attendance at my farewell, you’ll remember I ended my talk with, „It’s time to make Germany great again,“ let’s just say this party is the one with this kind of outlook here for Germany, just a liiiiitle bit crazier haha. But this isn’t the first time such a party has tried to run, but none has ever actually done well in elections. The AfD received almost 13% of the vote and got about 90 seats in the parliament, which hasn’t happened since WWII. How crazy, we out here making history my d├ťdes.

Anyhow, I was treated with a nice Tausch with Elder Sneech Earl in Potsdam this week, in which we pulled a South American missionary. We were finding and we got stopped by some guy who was interested in our book? Next thing we know he’s going to be standing in the baptismal font with his whole family waiting for us to baptize them. Nahhhhhhh, he was just studying religion and wanted to learn more from our book, happens actually not too rarely here.

Potsdam has got some alright churches

me with my other legend, Jesus

We also ate at the university cafeteria and sat by a German dude and had a 3 minute conversation as we realized we choked by not sitting next to a dope looking African dude.

What else did we hooligans do this week you might ask? We had zone conference which was great fun as always, and Elder Oliver was asked to help translate for a Persian investigator‘s baptismal interview, which would last only 30 minutes. That 30 minute interview turned into a young 3 hours of chilling with the APs, which wasn’t bad. They’re pretty legendary. We were also thanked with a ride home from them because of our troubles (also having to miss an appointment).

We had a dope talent show in Leest this week, and let me tell ya; Leest has got talent for sure. They had some quite entertaining and dope talents, as well as the stars of the show, Sister Smith and I. We played a cute little duet with the piano and violin of, I Believe in Christ. 10/10 I would go to their talent show again. The sisters actually had a non-member come who was quite moved by the show and had found real happiness and peace and wants to meet with them to find out how to find more of it, so I’d say it was a W.

post talent show selfie? sure

Tomorrow, we will be blessed with a visit from our favorite Persian who’s coming all the way from Frankfurt to hang out with us for a while, so we’re going to invite some of our other Persian legends and just have a blast. 

We also receive transfer calls this Saturday, and the likelihood that I am moved is pretty high. I love this city and this ward, but we will see what happens.

my legend Lilian Eve Rebecca Osbeck

Anyways, my dudes, music is a dope way to feel the spirit/feel real joy and peace. Go find that joy you’re looking for.


Elder Glenn Johnson
Kirche Jesu Christi
Plauer Stra├če 11d
Brandenburg an der Havel 14770

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Guten Tag Noch

I bid you all a warm welcome, allow me to direct you to our week.

We had a very busy week, but an even busier weekend I want to focus on. Saturday was the start of the craziness. We had to get a haircut because all the places were closed on Monday and we had stake conference, we had to take both of our talent videos for our bomb Facebook post (if you haven't seen it go check my profile, it'll be worth your time), go get Arabic bread from THE MOST habibi of Arabic stores, pack all of our stuff for stake conference, teach a Persian lesson, eat lunch, AND leave to Berlin by 2:00. Quite the rushed morning but we got everything done that we needed to.

view from up top of Olympic Stadium
I managed to make a train driver and lots of people very mad at me on this day as well. The ticket machine was very stupid and was taking forever to get people their tickets, and we waited in line for a while; close to when the train was going to leave. Well, we couldn't miss this train so Elder Oliver bought the tickets while I went and held the train door open, because the train can't leave us if one of the doors is still open and somebody is halfway in and halfway out. Well, Elder Oliver got in fine before we were supposed to leave, but there were still two people behind him in line who were almost begging me to keep the door open for them, because they as well can't miss the train. Of course, I would expect the same for me, so I did it for them. The next lady got in right before the train driver tries using his little gadgets to force close the door, but, sorry, I'm not letting this close on one guy who's almost done with buying his ticket. Next, a voice comes on the overhead speaker, "Please get out of the way of the door, this train needs to leave." I'm like okay okay, but, nah, imma stay until my legend’s in here with us. It's not his fault the machine was almost broken and taking forever. Well then, as the driver is still continuing to force close the door with no luck, he leans out his window from the very front of the train and treats me with a good, "GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY," and then a lady waiting for a different train yells back for me telling him to chill out, that the guy has no more than 10 seconds left before he's got his ticket. Now, I've got people behind me in the train yelling at me to move out of the way, who don't understand if they were in his situation they would want me to do the exact same. But I prevail, and my legend gets in, gives me a huge thank you. Our train leaves and is only one minute later than planned, so I would say it was quite worth it and a super funny experience.

The rest of Saturday was great, still a bit stressful considering I had to accompany for a musical number during stake conference, but it went very swimmingly. The talks were also very good and we had a good night. Sunday stake conference was also very good.

saw my boy elder Braun (mtc comp) at stake conference. He still looking good
We got a chance to go do some finding, and I got to do a couple just like the good Oldenburg days with Elder Mehr, and let me tell you, we met some legends! We talked to this family speaking Spanish, so Elder Mehr could practice his language, and it was awesome. They asked us where some good restaurants are, I believe in English because I understood. Elder Mehr recommended a Burger King nearby, and all these Peruvians just yelled "NOOO, we want good food!" So I hit them with a "McDonald's?" And we get another "NOOOO!" Kentucky Fried Chicken? "NOOO" and after a couple of those hilarious exchanges we direct them to where other restaurants would be.

Waiting in line for this cool picture booth thing we wanted to check out, we met the coolest dude named Musa. He comes from Gambia and spoke English, Arabic, French and a little bit of German. We asked if we could call him "Moose" for short and of course, he accepted. He was interested in what we do and also took a Book of Mormon and wants to meet with the missionaries. We exchanged contact information, took some pictures with him, and went on our way.

the legend Musa
I got to talk to some dude in Farsi which was super dope, it was overall a really fun time finding.

Today was very likely my last pday in Berlin. I got some last time Berlin stuff, we almost witnessed two guys beat each other up over a place to sit and beg for money. We visited the Olympic stadium where they had the Olympics a while back when Hitler was still in power. Really cool to experience and see all this stuff. We went up in a huge tower where we saw a super cool view of Berlin, and met some more Americans—solid time.

Olympic stadium
how it looked back in the day

the stadium from the tower
Anyways, that's about it for this week. Have fun this week ,

Elder Glenn Johnson
Kirche Jesu Christi
Plauer Stra├če 11d
Brandenburg an der Havel 14770

Monday, September 11, 2017

We ran over a person?

Greetings, friends.

We had yet another busy week here on the Havel. We were blessed with the opportunity to have an eating appointment with our legendary Russian family--and Shrek 4 in Russian was playing in the background the whole time--and that was just a whole other experience entirely.

Spiel Abend (game night) brought a funny experience. First off, we had like 7 or something people there idk it was awesome. That's a great way to grow friendships with the members who don't come to church as often as they should and through that friendship and trust they want to come, because it's dope and a good idea to go to church on Sundays. WELL, my brother in the work of the Lord, my companion, the Elder Oliver thought it would be fun if we made everyone spaghetti; so that's what he did. We are low budget missionaries, like most others, so we can't afford this Italy name brand crap for spaghetti so we went Ja! brand. For you Americans, the Ja! brand is similar to like Great Value or Kirkland signature. Not terrible, and cheap as heck. Well it still tasted pretty good, too and a member decided to share his thoughts. He compliments the cooking, but then goes "BUT" and begins to just destroy the ingredients Elder Oliver used. Canned tomatoes? Choke. Not enough sauce? Choke. Well, after a good minute or two of Elder Oliver taking his lashings, the member says "all in all, I'd give it a 3" just to twist the knife. Of course that's a new quote for us to have fun with.

Thursday, we were quite blessed with some miracles, it was quite a treat. Earlier in the day, we had a fun conversation in a store with these kids who were into minecraft. Boom. Two automatic new friends because of that beautiful game. Later, we had some young revelation to meet with a certain older member, and we made an appointment out with the legend. On the way there was just God's gameboard to see how many miracles he could throw at us. He hit us with the first one, as we are on the tram. A great friend of ours of the Afghanistanian background comes on the same tram as us and comes and sits next to us, and we just go off right there speaking Persian with him without shame. Well we had lost contact with him and us seeing him was great because we made out a few appointments to work on our Farsi with him. Alright nice move, God.

BUT it's not over; oh no. As we got off the tram, it started raining unbelievably hard. We start walking to our appointment and see an older man walking home with walking sticks very slowly, without an umbrella. So we go over and ask if we can walk him home, while protecting him from the rain, and we ended up having a great conversation and most importantly got to show him that we're here to serve others, not just knock on doors. During the walk with him, we experienced yet another miracle, and it was seeing the dad from the Arabic family we used to meet with! He was just done with work and was super excited to see us, and we were able to get in contact with him again. How dope is that?

selfie with Martin Luther church in the background? ✅
Okay well today was definitely the most interesting pday I’ve had in a long time..... I guess just to sum it up, we ran over a human being and saw the church where Martin Luther did the deed. Nah, I’ll go more into it for ya. Well, it all started as we embark on our trip to Wittenberg, the city where Martin Luther posted his 95 theses. Not even 5 minutes after leaving the train station in Bradenburg, we feel a huge bump and then the train just SLAMS on the brakes. Then we sit there for about 10 minutes absolutely clueless as to what just happened, and eventually we’re informed that our train was in a Personunfall, also known as an accident involving a human and our train; law of lugnuts, am I right? Then comes a 2 and a half hour wait, as fire, paramedics, police, criminal police, an airvac helicopter, and a police helicopter all come and do their business until we were finally able to get out and all cram into a bus to Potsdam. When something like that happens, deutsche Bahn just like shuts down and is useless. Haha because once there, every train was delayed, so we had to take an S Bahn to Berlin. Then, we ran to the service center and asked if we would be able to take an IC train that left not long after, or we’d have to wait another hour for a slower train and we'd be even later to Wittenberg; and since we were in the train that the accident happened, we were allowed to take the better train and had to run down there to catch that one. After a 2 hour trip turned into 5 and a half hours, we FINALLY made it there.

police helicopter. They weren't fans of our train crash

helpin us out the train :-)

goodbye you devil

Well that was a super dope experience to see the place where the reformation started, how dope. AND I was reunited with the coolest dude on this planet, Elder Wright!!! We had a wonderful time, just like the good ole times in the MTC. Not having much time there, resulted in us missing our train back, so we had to wait 2 hours for the next one; so we just checked some more stuff out. Then we get in our train back to Berlin, and are yet again delayed!!! Like deutsche Bahn has to chill today haha.

THE DOOR where Martin did the deed

Martin Luther is a legend though

inside the church

95 theses obviously

Overall though it was a great and busy week and pday. Sorry this was so long, thanks if you made it the whole way hahaha. 

Go eat a hot n spicy

Elder Glenn Johnson
Kirche Jesu Christi
Plauer Stra├če 11d
Brandenburg an der Havel 14770